great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
