first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
