Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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