He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
