I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
