The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
