Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
