We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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