I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
