I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
