Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
