my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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