How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its liver damage thursday
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
