real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
