New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
