my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
