So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
