clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
