Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
