rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
