Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
