Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
