we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A bitchslap is in order.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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