Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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