the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You need a sexual gate keeper
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
