Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
