I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
