the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will pee on everything he values.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
