its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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