just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
