I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
