member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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