HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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