So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
