How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
