Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize