i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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