he wants to bone in the snuggie
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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