I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
