Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
