it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize