I'm going to jail i love you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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