Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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