toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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