Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize