I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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