For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
