she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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