Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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