bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
