am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize