Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
