Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
