Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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