Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
