why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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